February 2012
Ottery St Mary
WAITRESS: Are you ready to order?
HERC: Yes, I think so. I’ll have the mushroom and aubergine risotto.
CAROLYN: Uh!
HERC: What do you mean, ‘uh’?
CAROLYN: Well, you’ve seen they have proper food here as well.
HERC: Nevertheless.
WAITRESS: Any starter?
HERC: Greek salad, please.
CAROLYN: Oh, don’t tell me you’re a vegetarian?
HERC: I will tell you that, because I am one.
WAITRESS: And for you, madam?
CAROLYN: Well, that’s very disappointing. Why on Earth –
HERC: Carolyn, all through human history, we’ve been wrong about equality, and we thought we were right. All men are equal – except slaves, obviously. Oh, no, wait! All men are equal, except black ones, obviously. No! No, wait! All people are equal, except women, obviously. Look, are you not at all curious about what we’re still getting wrong? And don’t you think there’s a good chance it’s “all lives are equal, except animals, obviously”?
CAROLYN: That’s an eloquent argument.
HERC: Thank you.
CAROLYN: I mean it’s childish, specious, and the bit where you compare animal rights with universal suffrage is frankly offensive, but it’s superficially eloquent.
WAITRESS: Shall I come back?
CAROLYN: No! No, I’m ready. I’ll have the rack of lamb.
WAITRESS: And to start?
CAROLYN: The whitebait.
WAITRESS: Certainly.
CAROLYN: Out of interest, about how many whitebait do you get in a serving?
WAITRESS: About thirty, madam?
CAROLYN: Gosh, imagine that: thirty little lives on a plate! Yum, yum.
2 tags
Cabin Pressure is alwasy so distracting
I just want to go home
I've just about had enough of you....
2 tags
Part of me wants to give up, but the other part wont let me…